Beyond Agreeing with Them
Dave Wilson & John Hopper—
You have a friend who doesn’t believe in God. You want him to change his mind.
You have a sister who thinks Jesus was nothing more than a moral teacher. You want her to think differently.
You have co-workers who think the Bible is simply a book of myths. You want them to trust it as the Word of God.
We get that. In so many cases, we want people to move from where they are now to a new place—one where they are declaring that Jesus is the Son of God and that the Bible is His divine revelation.
But how do we get there?
In our last blog, we spoke about the value of getting on the same side of the table as those whose beliefs are at odds with Christianity. Rather than presenting ourselves as opponents ready to debate, we suggested that conversations about God, Christianity, or the Bible usually get off on a much better foot if we begin by finding points of agreement rather than highlighting our differences.
For example, when I (Dave) was told that the Bible was not a book from God, I responded by saying, “I totally agree—that certainly is a possibility,” before adding, “But there are a couple of things that bother me about that idea.” Or when I (John) was asked where God is, given all the pain and suffering in the world, I didn’t begin by giving reasons why everyone should believe in God. Instead, I first said, “You’re right. There is a lot of pain and suffering in the world.”
But after agreeing with our friends and acquaintances wherever we can, what is the next step? Do we then jump into a defense of our position? Not normally. Instead, if we want to move people from where they are now to a new place of understanding, we have found that asking a question is a great next step.
Just after my friend told me about his view on the origins of the Bible, I (Dave) asked, “Do you think adding miracles to the story makes it more or less believable?” By posing this question, I wasn’t asking him to believe anything; I was simply exploring what he thought. When he replied, “Less,” I could respond by saying, “I agree. I guess that’s one of the things that really makes me wonder why the authors of the Bible included them. If people would be less likely to believe what they wrote by adding miracles, why do you think they added them if the miracles never happened?”
Or after my friend wondered how I could believe in a God with all the evil and suffering in the world, I (John) asked, “What is the evil and suffering in the world that bothers you the most?” and later, “Where do you think evil and suffering come from, and how do we even decide what is good or evil?”
Asking questions like these takes the conversation deeper. They engage the other person. They help the conversation develop. They uncover people’s sticking points.
We are like you. We want to see people move from here to there when it comes to Jesus. But often, that means building a bridge that makes it easier for them to take that step—a bridge that begins by agreeing with them wherever we can and continues by asking questions that take the conversation deeper.
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John Hopper is the Executive Director of REACH, the evangelism training arm of Search Ministries. He served 16 years as a pastor in Houston, Texas, completed his doctoral studies at Biola University, and is the author of Questioning God? and Giving Jesus Away. He loves his wife, tennis, and apple pie in very different levels of magnitude!
Dave Wilson is the Area Director of Search Nashville. Over the last 15 years, he has led countless small discussion groups about God and life mostly with those in the business community. An Olympic gold medal swimmer in 1984, today Dave enjoys cycling and skiing and makes sure his wife Dru visits their three grandkids as often as possible.
