One Conversation at a Time

Bill Finley —

I stood there at twenty years old, a new Christian, on the beaches of Fort Lauderdale, surrounded by college students living it up on their Spring Break. Take my word for it: the last thing these students were interested in was having a conversation about profound ideas and God. 

Yet there I stood, because I was told this was a way to demonstrate my love for Jesus and for my fellow college students. I was trained on how to start a conversation and steer it toward spiritual matters. But to me, the activity felt far more like a drive-by shooting than a sincere act of love. And the one emotion I felt in the process was fear . . . not love. 

Now, don’t get me wrong—I think it’s great that the message of Jesus is getting out. But the further I’ve gone in life, the more I’ve recognized that loving people like Jesus means more than dumping truth on strangers and then leaving town. It involves coming alongside someone in their spiritual journey—recognizing that giving one’s life to Jesus is a process rather than a singular decision. 

On that Spring Break trip, I was in and out of a person’s life in a matter of minutes. Today, rather than focusing on getting to an immediate faith decision, I seek to build meaningful friendships and, along the way, help people take one step closer to Jesus—one conversation at a time. 

What does this look like in real life? Here are a few practical ways to live this out: 

 1. Pray 

Pray first for yourself—for your motive toward others to be sincere love. Then pray that God will open opportunities to meet over coffee or lunch with your friend or friends.  

2. Ask & Listen 

During your coffee or lunch, if you don’t know your friends well, start by asking about their story. (Where did they grow up? What brought them to this point in life?) Be curious and listen carefully to express real interest. In particular, notice what they include and exclude when sharing their story—this will help you shape future questions about their life and longings. 

 3. Pray (Again) 

During the meeting, ask God to give insight into questions to ask or how to move the conversation toward deeper issues of God and life. Remember, your motive is love—not getting someone converted on the spot. So, ask God how you can encourage your friends (even in small ways) to take a next step toward Him. 

4. Summarize & Invite 

Toward the end of your conversation, summarize what you’ve learned and invite them into another conversation that has them thinking in the meantime. You could say something like: “I can tell from what you’ve shared that things are rough at work right now. Thanks for letting me in on that. I always wonder how people navigate those patches—where they turn for help. Maybe we can get together again soon, and you can share more of your experience.” 

 5. Pray (One More Time) 

That’s right—pray again! Ask God to stir up a thirst for Him and to pave the way for the next conversation. 

Bill Finley is the Area Director of Search in Raleigh, NC. He and his wife, Cindy, are the proud parents of seven adult children and four grandchildren. Bill enjoys helping people take their next steps with God by finding creative ways to connect their stories with God’s great story.